For Six Sentence Sunday, alls you have to do is post six sentences from your novel or WIP. This week my six sentences are from page 31 of 18 Things, the first book in My So-Called Afterlife YA trilogy, coming soon from Curiosity Quills Press. If you want to find out more, or check out some other great sets of six sentences, follow the linky link! Writers appreciate comments and constructive feedback!
Sliding my sunglasses to the top of my head, I look up at the sun and a cloud finally moves in front of it. For a moment, I block out the sounds of the lake around me and all I hear is the water and the wind. A warm and soft breeze blows across me like Conner whispering from the grave, “It’s okay. Go on, go on.” And it’s a release, a revelation, something I’ve heard so many times before but never listened to. Life does go on, and it should.
Sooo, whaddya think? If you are so inclined, I’d greatly appreciate it if you visit me over at J. Keller Ford’s YA Fantasy Author blogfest . . . where she’s let people like me take over her blog this week and today is my turn! Come on, you know you want to:-)
I really like the emotion this excerpt:) I kind of thought she might say ‘shouldn’t’ instead of ‘should’ in the last line:)
Hmm, that’d be an interesting twist:-)
I love how the breeze becomes Conner’s whispering! Really beautiful, and positively spine-tingling.
I am so intrigued by this story.
Oh wow, spine-tingling! I’m flattered, thank u!!!
Hiya Jamie,
Oooh I read your post at J.Keller’s today and enjoyed myself immensely. Now I get to read an excerpt from 18 things. man, Can’t wait to read it when it’s released. Love the descriptions.
Thanks for stopping by!
I like it. The last two sentences are my favorites, actually. Also, I went and checked out that interview. Good job!
Thank youuuuu, Ben:-)
Beautiful and emotional 6!! Nicely done! Love it
I think it’s a wonderful moment and just from those few lines, I’d love to read more. Kudos, Jamie.
Thank you . . . it’ll be out before the year’s end:-)
Awww…I’m guessing Conner passed away? So sad.
Yes, right before the novel starts. He was her best friend, and secret crush, since kindergarten. Ah, I hate torturing my characters but must!
Ooh, nicely lyrical
Thank you . . . love this feedback!
This is a lovely excerpt. I’m so excited for your novel to be published. It is going to rock! *off to visit your link*
YOU rock, Shell!!
Lovely six, Jamie! Two things: I cringed at the idea of a character taking off her sun glasses to look up at the sun as in my mind that’s counter-intuitive, but that could just be me. Also, I’d take out the and in ‘a warm and soft breeze’ and just use a comma. Just nitpicking though. It’s still lovely.
I get what you’re saying, but a cloud immediately moves in front of it:-) Thanks for nitpicking–I need people like that!
I loved how you showed the raw emotion, and went into depth about all the little things. Can’t wait to read the new version of your book! As always amazing post! I’ll be sure to check out your link ASAP!!! Can’t wait to read it!
Thanks, Kaylee! You get the “Most Loyal” follower award;~)
I really like the emotion that you put in this post.
Certainly brings readers RIGHT there! Well done.
A warm and soft breeze blows across me like Conner whispering from the grave, “It’s okay. Go on, go on.” Wow, that was a pretty cool line. I envisioned it happening!