Jamie Ayres

During the second week of June–that’s the 11-16th–Elana Johnson is hosting the Never Surrender blogfest to celebrate her new book release this month. All you have to do is blog about a time you didn’t surrender!

This post should be easy for me. It’s been the theme of my whole life. I’ve faced many challenges and it all started from the time when I was very young and was sexually abused. That’s just too depressing to blog about so as I searched my brain about the other things I could post . . . and realized the best moments of my life have come by not surrendering, but doing the opposite.

“WHAT?!!?”

Yep, you heard me right.

Throughout my life there were people I thought were my friends. Family I thought I could trust. There were times I felt like surrendering, even attempted suicide twice between the ages of 11-14. But I couldn’t go through with it. I knew I owed it to myself to see what all the fight was about. I figured my best days would be ahead of me because it couldn’t get much worse. Even if I didn’t understand much about God then, I sensed he had a master plan for me. When I finally surrendered my life to him when I turned 18, I knew I was right.

God says he has collected my tears in a bottle. I wonder how many bottles they filled while I was growing up? But trouble=triumph. I’ve never seen someone be triumphant without being in trouble first. Romans 8:28 says we know, not hope, not wish, not pray . . . that all things work for the good of those who love him. All those atrocities I survived I use as a catalyst to pour into my writing.

So never surrendering to me means surrendering it all to God. If I didn’t get something (during the past 3 years, that usually meant an agent or editor), it’s only because God has something better for me down the road. Going through hell and high-water is worth it if it leads me to the place God has for me. One of the hardest things to do is to believe God in transition and that’s where I am now. Transitions are difficult because you’re letting go of everything you’ve held onto. It’s a great feeling of vulnerability. Worry happens. But when it happens, I make the choice to let go and let God. I surrender.

What about you?

*This is a blog hop so be sure to make like a bunny and jump over to Elana’s page:):):) 

Once a month I’m trying to blog about how my love of books relates to my love of God. When I got the Kreativ Blogger Award a couple of weeks ago I had to write 10 random things about myself. Some of you may recall this one:

When I was 11 yrs old I prayed to God to show me a sign that He loved me (I was severely depressed) . . . and when I woke up the next morning, an angel was in my room, on his knees, with his hands folded in prayer, smiling & looking up at me. We stared at each other for a moment, then I closed my eyes & said, “Thank you, Jesus, and please don’t ever show me that again” b/c ok, it was kinda scary? And then he was gone, but I KNEW there was a purpose for my life:)

Welllllllll, that’s not the end of the story. At the time, I never told anyone about it for fear that I’d be taken away in a little white van, strapped to a bed. I finally told my husband and his best bud one night when I was 17. They laughed hysterically, making fun of the fact I saw him dressed in blue (didn’t mention that above) & was I watching Smurfs before I went to bed, and yada yada yada. At the time, none of us were Christians but I knew what I saw was fo real yo. Flash forward a year later, Dan & I are married & attending the University of Central Florida. One day while I was bored in-between my 2 classes, I stopped at the on campus Barnes & Noble & perused their Religious section, picking up a book called Angel Power & flipping to page 100 (for some reason, I’ve always like to read the first page and page 100 of a book to see if I want to buy it). Here’s a quote from page 100 of that book, talking about the diary of a German woman who saw angels:

“The Guardian Angels of children are exquisitely lovely. They are dressed in blue and always are seen with their hands folded in prayer.”

Got goosebumps yet? I know I did. Of course I bought the book! I was amazed at how personal God can be, that out of 6 billion people on earth, he brought me full circle, leading me to a book that described my experience, on page 100 no less!! Needless to say, hubby never doubted my sanity again (joke’s on him b/c I’ve truly lost my mind since then;)

So, what about you? Do you believe in angels, or are they just another book character? One fellow writer I know who believes and writes about them is newly published author Heather Burch. Stop by here next week to hear her perspective on the whole process, & earn a first page critique from her & maybe even her book! Sidenote: For the first time, I’m writing a fantasy YA & angels are in it, baby! It’s been a lot of fun.

In my own novel, a therapist suggests the main character write a life list of eighteen things to complete before turning eighteen, sending her and her friends on an unexpected journey they’ll never forget. One of the items her B.F.F. makes her write down is to give up the habit of thinking it, and not saying it. I thought, we live in a time where too many people who shouldn’t be speaking are, and vice versa. As a parent, teacher and children’s ministry volunteer for the past eleven years, I’ve found that in this permissive world, too many parentals have forgotten to raise our boys to be gentlemen and our girls to be ladies. One of the easiest ways to teach this is to read the classics.

My middle schooler has already read Little Women, The Narnia Series, Anne of Green Gables, & is currently reading the prequel, Before Green Gables. She’s not forced to read these stories–she LOVES them! One of our favorite things to do on family nights is to sit around the fire pit, eating s’mores as I read aloud to them from a classic.

I’ll end tonight’s blog with 2 challenges:

1) In this hectic world, make time to read to a child today. If you don’t know a child, go find one at a store & sit them on your lap & read a story (ok, scratch that last recommendation unless you want to get arrested). But seriously, good things happen when you share stories. I’m convinced our world would be a better place if more people turned off that hypersexualized crap on the TV and read together as a family (oops, hope I didn’t offend someone by saying it and not just thinking it;).

2) Recommend a good modern-day middle grade or YA novel  that teaches us a good moral lesson about life, safe for my middle schoolers ears. Have you recently read a book that you think could become the next “classic”? If so, please share:)

Have you ever had a coincidence & thought afterwards, well that was just too weird? It may have been a divine appointment. My birthday is causing me to ponder how many times God has led me to some pretty awesome things (yes, today I’m 32, and I know, I don’t look it at all;)

An-y-ways, I had one of those happy coincidences yesterday at Barnes & Noble. I was at my writers meeting & usually go for coffee afterwards with some of the posse. Long story short, I didn’t go, went to book store instead & for 1st time EVER didn’t find anything I had to have. Disappointed, I stopped in the lady’s room before leaving & discovered the real reason I was there. A 15-yr-old was talking to her friend about how cool it’d be if she got published. I wanted to say something, wearing my “Wannabe YA Author” hair ribbon myself, but didn’t want to look like a creepy stalker. We went to our stalls and while I was peeing I just couldn’t shake the feeling I needed to talk to that girl. So I finished my business & rushed out to wash my hands & she was standing there, waiting for her friend, who was thankfully taking a long time (hmmm, another divine apt?). Well, wouldn’t ya know, this young girl believes in divine appointments too:) She kept saying throughout our conversation, ‘You just don’t know how perfect this is meeting you! It’s totally a God thing!’ I gave her my business card (I know, how professional am I that I had one on me, oh and only 1) and hopefully we’ll keep in touch b/c teenagers are cool. That’s why I’m a wannabe YA author-duh!

Then I started thinking about all the other chance meetings in my life that were God led. The biggie is meeting my hubby the first day of high school during 4th period Word Processing & getting to sit next to him. It took him 3 1/2 yrs to ask me out, but I knew that first day I’d marry him.

Me & My Prince Charming

Or when I got my first Sunday off from waiting tables at Perkins Restaurant a week before I left for college & decided to go to church. And discovered who Jesus is that day. Then prayed to him that I’d have at least one Christian roomie to help keep me on the straight and narrow & arrived to find not just one, but all 4 were Christians! Yanno, what are the odds of that at a secular college these days (okay it was 1997, ancient times, but still!!!).

Me & two of my lovely roomies. *That's not really her armpit hair. It's hair that was clogging up our shower drain & she decided to tape it under her arm, if that's any less gross.

And then the next year after I married Dan & transferred to UCF, where they royally screwed up my schedule & gave me a Monday night class that I’d soon be out of but HAD to attend that first one, so Dan, all alone & bored, wandered around campus & discovered this free BBQ, put on by XA (Chi Alpha Christian Fellowship). They roped him in (fresh blood & he could charm snakes-J/K!) & that one ‘coincidence’ tremendously shaped our college experience.

XA Girls-I'm the only one holding a baby. Nope, wasn't in MY plan to have a kid at 20, but I believe Kaylee was born 'for such a time as this.' Read Esther for a really cool tale on divine appointments.

Or when I went to my first big Christian conference, Aquire the Fire, & learned about mission trips & told God I wanted to go on one but didn’t think I could raise enough $ and then, the next day, someone from my home church hundreds of miles away who had no idea I was at the conference, called & said the church would like to sponsor me for a missions trip that summer to an orphanage in Jamaica. 

Where I stayed in Jamaica, where I discovered I wanted to be a teacher

For my next missions trip the following summer, I decided I could raise the $ myself. But then it wasn’t happening & crushed, I called out to God during prayer, ‘Why wouldn’t you want me to go on a missions trip?’ He answered, ‘What about that letter to your uncle?’ I’d been a Christian for about 2 yrs at that time and still hadn’t forgiven my uncle for abusing me when I was a kid. God had been laying it on my heart to write a letter that whole year but I was stubborn. I wrote it that day, a Friday (do u hear Rebecca Black’s song in your head every time you hear the word ‘Friday’ now or is it just me?). By Tuesday I needed $1,600 for my missions trip. I hadn’t received a single cent. Guess how much came in the mail on Tuesday when I checked my mailbox? If you guessed EXACTLY $1,600 then ding, ding, ding, you’re a winner *give yourself a pat on the back for playing!

Street Performing in Ireland. I'm the one in the cowboy hat ya'll

I could go on forever with more stories. But whatdya think? Coincidence or divine appointment? Any ‘coincidences’ of your own? Please share (it is my bday and I found a few gray hairs this month, it’s the least you can do to encourage me).

The past three days we took a mini vacay to O-town and visited the Magic Kingdom and Hollywood Studios to celebrate Kaylee’s 11th birthday (ahhhh, I’m too young to be the parent to a tween, lol). But that’s not the power of ugly . . . it’s actually the book I read in the car (don’t worry, Dan drove). It’s written by Pastor Jamie Stilson, but you might be surprised that it’s not preachy at all. Instead, as it states on the cover, it’s “a celebration of earthly spirituality.” His humorous stories bearing all this uglies kept me amused over the three hours there and the three hours back and caused Dan to ask many times, “What’s so funny?” But there were also many poignant stories– keep a box of tissues nearby. So check out The Power of Ugly . . . the link is below. I think you’ll be surprised in a good way, whether you’re a Christian or not. This was Pastor Jamie’s first book, but I hope it won’t be his last!!

http://www.powerofugly.com/

This month, one four letter word in particular crept into my vocabulary often. Save. Did you automatically think of a different four letter word? HA! Caught ya! As a mother of two young children, I try to keep my blogs PG (my young adult books, another story sometimes). But onto the why of S-A-V-E. A few weeks ago, our dog was viciously attacked by a pit bull, causing about $3,000 in medical bills and counting. So we’ve had to save a lot of money we’d otherwise spend. Of course, that didn’t stop me from hitting up the Borders going-out-of-business sale yesterday. But I digress. Save hasn’t just come up at home, but at school as well. This month I read Three Cups of Tea by Greg Mortenson. It tells his personal story of how he’s come to build over 50 schools, especially for girls, in Pakistan and Afghanistan. I shared his mission with my class last week during our cultural heritage celebration on St. Patrick’s Day, and brought in a MONSTROUS glass jar to collect pennies to help build more schools. In a week, the students have already managed to fill the jar halfway!

Something else that happened this month was my cousin, Kristeen, visited from Michigan. She is the one whose seven  year old son, Blake, is suffering a relapse from his cancer. Another definition of ‘save’ is in the spiritual sense. It’s only been their faith in Jesus that’s given them the strength to endure this difficult journey once again. Oh, and great family:) Her twin sister and step mother have stepped in to ‘save the day’ so to speak. They’re putting on a Spaghetti dinner/auction on Saturday night since Blake has missed lots of school during his treatment, and because of a stroke, he attends a special educational program called Orton Gillingham. It has been very effective and his family hopes he can continue. Unfortunately the program costs $2,000 for every 50 sessions. Blake’s family hopes fundraisers will help them continue his education in the program. Now I know we can’t all travel to Michigan for the event, but a fund for Blake has also been established at Fifth Third Bank for anyone who would like to contribute. Just tell them you’d like to give to the fund set up for Blake Hulliberger and they can look it up in their system! How easy is that?! “But don’t you know we’re in a recession! I’d love to help but I can’t!” I understand, but any amount helps, right? I mean, my class is helping to build schools with pennies! I think we all sort of cringe at the thought of asking for or receiving donations. I know my cousin is humbled by the experience. But I’ll leave you with a verse from Philippians 4: “Do not worry about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.” Can I get a whoot, whoot!!

“Say thank you” is a three word phrase I repeat often on a day-to-day basis, to my own kids and to my students. But I remind myself as well. A message one of our pastor’s gave a while back preached on Phil. 2:14: “Do everything without complaining or arguing.” I thought, Wow, I could spend my whole life meditating on that one statement. Ever since, I’ve strived to set a much better example of that verse. Of course, there’s soooooooooooo much for me to give thanks for so why should I complain? My family & friends, my job, my home, food on the table, a car that works, clothes on my back. But honestly, all the material stuff could be gone tomorrow and I’d be just fine. Being blessed doesn’t equal having stuff, although most Americans seem to think so. The thing I’m most thankful for has no price tag- my salvation in Jesus Christ. Which means the best is yet to come. Our time here is temporary and everything will one day decay. But no matter what, I have a glorious future! So my Thanksgiving isn’t relegated to one day a year. My thanks is eternal, but I pray every day of this life when my daughters hug me, or my husband kisses me, or I witness a wonderful moment in nature, I’ll respond to the still small whisper of God, “Say thank you, Jamie.” ~Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! If you’re reading this, I’m thankful for you and I love you!!!

All people reach a place in their life when a relationship is no longer working for them anymore.  This happened to me last Thursday. Breaking up with someone is a sticky situation, and offers many challenges. Do you take the passive-aggressive route and just stop calling? Make excuses until they stop calling? Do you make them want to dump you or just start seeing others to avoid the awkwardness altogether of breaking up with someone? Do you prepare for a revolt to steal certain friends for your side? LOL, I’ve probably done all of these things at some point. But the breakup I’m referring to today probably isn’t what you’re thinking. This week Dan and I broke up with our small group.

Our last group meeting--we're all bloated in this picture after a feast of meatloaf, green bean casserole, corn muffins, and homemade mac n' cheese:)

Leading a bible study once a week at our house for the past year has been wonderful. But since no guys have been attending since June (girls are always more faithful, right ladies;) we’ve decided it’s time to start seeing other groups in our church. Now we took the honest approach and told the truth. “It’s not you, it’s us. We need a change to help us grow.” And they reciprocated with comfort, “Everything has a time and season. We’ll still keep in touch.” Of course I’m being a little melodramatic here (I’m a writer, what’d ya expect?). Still, no matter the situation, breaking up is hard to do. I leave you with my favorite scene from When Harry Met Sally as evidence:

Harry: Right now everything is great, everyone is happy, everyone is in love and that’s wonderful. But you gotta know that sooner or later you’re gonna be screaming at each other about who’s gonna get this dish. This eight dollar dish will cost you a thousand dollars in phone calls to the legal firm of That’s Mine, This Is Yours.
Marie: Harry.
Harry: Please, Jess, Marie. Do me a favor, for your own good, put your name in your books right now before they get mixed up and you won’t know whose is whose. Because someday, believe it or not, you’ll go 15 rounds over who’s gonna get this coffee table. This stupid, wagon wheel, Roy Rogers, garage sale coffee table.
Jess: I thought you liked it?
Harry: I was being nice!

What about you? Got any funny or horrible breakup stories? Feel free to comment here–I’ve found writing is a wonderful catharsis:)  

Many of us have heard this saying and I was reminded of it this weekend. We took a trip to see our friends who, according to our GPS, live 3 1/2 hours north of us. But whenever we visit, no matter what time of day or day of the week we leave, it ends up being a 5 hour trip. The way back, fine. But when we’re going, anxious to see our friends, 5 hours. Every. Single. Time. Whether traffic, bad weather, I have to use the bathroom every hour (yes, I’m worse than the kids), Dan can’t wait to eat (he’s also worse than the kids), Ashley or Kaylee getting car sick, etc . . .

There’s many other areas of my life where the “timing is everything” principle applies.

We bought our house in 2005, and now it’s valued at $165,000 less than what we paid.   

When teaching, I must gage the atmosphere of my class as to when to teach what. Yes, I have lesson plans for each day, but sometimes the kids need me to mix things up a bit.

Also in parenting, when to discipline. If we’re really frustrated, it’s better for me to send the girls to their rooms for 5-10 minutes so they can cool down and I can cool down before I start yelling and they think their feelings aren’t being respected.

In medicine. We caught Ashley’s Vitiligo fairly quickly, so hopefully the medicines she apples to her skin daily will work to contain the disease.

This is also a Biblical principle. Jesus spoke a lot about timing, but my favorite verse about this is from Esther 4:14, when Mordecai tells her, “And who knows but that you have come to this position for such a time as this?”

“Timing is everything” certainly seems to be the theme song of my life for the past year as I try to become a published author. There have been times when I pray about my story and felt God lead, and then its lead to another rejection. So I go, “Ok, was that just me? Or did I hear him right but it’s just not meant to be yet?” And then God reminded me it took 4 years of college to become a teacher. I believe God is using this time to expand and deepen the abilities he already put in me. I think we must learn to listen for his voice as to the timing of our lives (through prayer and reading of his word). Many times I don’t understand what he wants me to do with my story, so I wait faithfully. That’s the hard part for me. Just ask my husband.

But I also believe in another saying, “When God closes one door, he opens another.” I watch with eagerness, so I’ll be willing to step out in faith when the time is right. B/c usually when God is leading, the opportunity is scary, but so much more exciting!

What about you? What are the “timing is everything” areas of your life???

“Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.” Nice quote from Dale Carnegie.

Have you ever faced a hopeless situation? Maybe a divorce, abuse, your child rebelling, a fatal disease, unemployment, a death of someone you held dear??? The list goes on and on. But one hopeless situation you may have never thought or heard about is child trafficking. Today I’m blogging about a friend who is one of those rare people making a dent in seemingly hopeless situations. Her name is Diana Scimone, a lovely lady I met through Chi Alpha Campus Ministry at UCF twelve years ago. She is a children’s author as well as director of The Born 2 Fly project, committed to stopping child trafficking around the world. Today on 10.10.10, her organization is hoping for 10,000 people to give $10.

Fact: Each year one million kids are trafficked for sex around the world where they’re raped for profit 30-40 times per night. I think most of us would give an arm and/or a leg to stop something like this from happening before our very eyes . . . so will you care enough to give $10 today to reach these kids before the traffickers do? (BTW, if you think this doesn’t happen in America, you’re wrong). In Diana’s own words, “Traffickers think kids are commodities, let’s tell kids they’re priceless.” The link to give is below. Thanks for letting me preach today:):):)

Donate $10: Just click the orange ChipIn button here to donate via PayPal or credit card.

http://dianascimone.typepad.com/diana_scimone/