You Might Be A Redneck If . . .

Cheers to being a Redneck. The Ayres family at the Fountain of Youth.

At church the other week Pastor mentioned you might be a redneck if you think our sanctuary is pretty (it used to be a bar). Then I noticed something during our family vacay to Saint Augustine this week (History sidebar for those who may not know: St. Augustine, FL is the oldest city in the U.S.–not Jamestown, VA as many believe. St. Augustine was founded almost 200 yrs prior but is often ignored in history books b/c it’s a Spanish, not English, settlement). N-E-ways, the thing I noticed is we very well may be rednecks! I thought it was a little odd when Dan started listening to country music a couple of years ago after being such a hardcore rocker for so long (Dan says he relates to the songs better now that he has a family & converted me to country music too).  Here are the top 5 observances from our trip to argue my case:

1. You might be a redneck if you think we’re staying in a nice hotel if you don’t have to cut through a gas station to get to it. (The Comfort Inn we stayed at you actually had to cut through 2 gas station & a diner to get to the entrance so Dan thought the Holiday Inn w/ direct road access was much nicer).

2. You  might be a redneck if you are upset some of your water spilled out of the bottle (water is FREE after all, but this was special Fountain of Youth H2O).

3. You might be a redneck if you still want to eat at the Cracker Barrel despite being surrounded by 80 local restaurants that offer a much more fine dining experience. (Which is why you N-E-V-E-R leave the choice up to a tired 7-yr-old, rookie mistake & can’t believe we made it!)

4. You might be a redneck if you drive around the downtown district for a half hour to look for cheaper parking (about $2 in savings, but dunno how that balances out w/ gas–which was $3.70 per gallon in St. Augustine, wondering how that compares to where you live??).

5. You might be a redneck if you slather on SPF 80 every morning and still manage to get burned. (We forgot to pack sunscreen and had to stop at the CVS there & I think some funny business is going on there b/c we’ve never got burned with 80, and they wanted $20 for an umbrella there–WTH?!)

I’m sure Jeff Foxworthy’s are much funnier, and I’m also hoping any copyrights on these jokes have long expired while posting this blog. And btw Pastor, we do think our church is pretty:)