Have you ever been at a crossroads in your life and didn’t know which way to go? Both paths have their positives and negatives, and your mind and heart are battling, so they aren’t helping either. When that happens, I pray for a sign of God’s will for me. I pray he’ll guide me to the one path that’s truly for my highest good and the good of those around me. I pray I’ll have the courage to follow his lead.
Two weeks ago, I was at a friend’s house. I’d never hung out at this friend’s house before, but this friend is also a teacher and works at my dream school doing my dream job. Her assistant principal called while I was there, asking if she knew of anyone who’d be interested in teaching tenth grade English for their international baccalaureate (IB) program (she teaches twelfth grade IB). My friend asked me if I was interested. I was, but I kind of laughed at the offer. After all, I’d only been teaching middle school Language Arts for three years. She convinced me to at least take an interview, so we scheduled one for the next morning.
I was contemplating the new job offer all day, and then my mom showed up at my doorstop around five o’clock. My beautiful cousin, Angie, age forty-one, was dead. She’d traveled 14 hours by car a couple weeks earlier, and unbeknownst to her, a blood clot formed in her leg, eventually traveling to her heart and killing her.
Angie and me. She was a teacher, too. There were 400 people at her funeral. She made quite the impact. R.I.P.
This was the third family member I’d lost in seven weeks. It’s hard to suffer the loss of someone you love, but I also know this is part of God’s plan, too. We’ll all die one day. None of us escapes it. Knowing we’re all part of some bigger destiny takes away some of the pain for me. As I stayed up late that night, too anxious and heartbroken to sleep, I realized the way to move beyond fear is to go through it and trust whatever is meant to be will be. The only reason I didn’t jump at the new job opportunity right away is because of my old anxieties, but God has steadfast belief in the abilities he’s given us, even when we doubt ourselves.
My new classroom at Cape Coral High School, my alma mater!
I know this blog post isn’t focused on writing, but I think a lot of us, especially in the publishing world, tend to think of success in terms of how talented we are compared to ________ (insert favorite author’s name here) or how much money we make with our books (newsflash: I made $323 last month off 18 Things, so yeah, I’m not quitting my day job any time soon!).
But I think if we’re willing to seek the path the universe lays in front of us and keep moving forward through all the good days and not-so-good days, then that’s the true measure of success.
This has been a post for the Insecure Writer’s Support Group, the brainchild of Head Ninja, Alex J. Cavanaugh. Feel free to join us the first Wednesday of every month! Purpose: To share and encourage.
Jamie Ayres 
So sorry to hear of your cousin. That’s awful.
Congrats on the job and in moving forward with it. Opportunities don’t always land on your doorstep. Kudos! Wishing you all the luck and blessings of a new chapter in your life.
God bless! 😊
Sent from my iPhone
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I’m so sorry for the lost of your cousin. You’ve had a heavy year. A few years ago I lost seven people who were very dear to me within a year and a half. Two of them were my parents. One of the things that helped me was to keep moving forward. Sometimes it is slower than other times but I know that I have a purpose and I keep going forward and as Alfred Lord Tennyson said, Walking toward the light.
All the best for you.
Shalom aleichem,
Patricia
Beautiful post, Jamie. Peace.
I’m so sorry about your loss, Jamie. I wish you the best of luck on your new adventure.
You made over $300 dollars in a month?! I think that’s amazing. Sorry to hear of your loss. That’s kind of scary that a long car trip could do that to a person and especially one so young.
I’m sorry about your cousin. We all die some day, but until then, it sucks for those of us left behind.
If you’re making that much, that’s really good! It’s been a while since my books made that much.
So, you got the job? Awesome!
So sorry to hear about your cousin.
I think you’re right about following the path God sets before you. I always pray that he only open the doors he wants me to go through because his plan is way better than anything my brain can think up.
$323 in a month. I’m jealous. 🙂
So very sorry for the loss of your cousin, Jamie. 41 years old. So young. She touched a lot of lives. There is solace in knowing that.
Love your teaching story. It’s similar to mine–a local school was desperate (OK, you didn’t say yours was desperate) for a tech teacher. When they responded to decline my application for math teacher, my husband took the call and told them I was great at technology. God led the way on that one.
It too was an IB school. They have so many great ideas for teaching, I think you’ll enjoy it.
Oops.
Really sorry to hear about the sad news. Whatever path you choose will be the right now:)
I am so sorry for your loss, Jamie. That is so tough. Sending you tons of virtual hugs. I think you can rock that new job. If you know you can do it, then go for it. Do not doubt yourself for a second. Hang in there.
I’m so sorry about your cousin. Despite the awesome attitude, losing someone you love never gets easier. Change is good though. New opportunities open new doors. I know you’ll figure it out because you’ve got the right focus, but I wish you peace along the way.
Congratulations on your new job, Jamie! I’m so sorry for the loss of your cousin. Sometimes when things like this happen, it reawakens us to how precious every moment is, doesn’t it? I’m sure your cousin will live on in the hearts of all the students and families she helped during her time teaching.
Sorry for your loss 😦 Also happy for you for the new job. Glad you pushed past the fear.
Huge Hugs!!! I’m so sorry for your loss, but I’m also excited for your new job. Praying for you to have comfort and such overflowing love from God that it pours out over all that you do each day.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I find that after a loss, things do get better and paths and new ways of thinking open up for me. I end up appreciating life more and reaching for more opportunities.
I’m sorry for the losses you’ve suffered recently. Congratulations on the job!