Dear Nicole:
Bullies, disapproving parents, and failing grades – 8th grader Ian James has a backpack full of problems. But when he translates some Japanese symbols from a forbidden Spirit Hunter manga book, he finds himself in a place he knows little about – the world of the Spirit Hunters.
Stuck with a girl named Suko who insists he’s a Hunter called Kaji, Ian doesn’t know the first thing about catching spirits. More importantly, he also doesn’t know how to get back home. And just when he finds someone who might be able to help him, the Spirit Hunter camp is attacked by the Shadow Masters, who want all the Hunters to be their slaves. Or dead. Which sucks either way.
While he and Suko run for their lives, Ian searches desperately for a way back to his own world. Before he can get any answers, he must help the Spirit Hunters defend themselves against the Shadow Masters and their ghoulish army, or risk never seeing his home again.
SPIRIT HUNTER, a middle grade adventure novel, is complete at 55,000 words and seems a good fit with other works represented by you and your agency.
I’d be happy to provide more of SPIRIT HUNTER to you at your request, and I thank you for your time and consideration.
Sincerely,
Julie O’Connell
Jamie Ayres 
I’d read this book in a heartbeat. Sounds like a fun adventure.
Thank you so much!
Agreed. Great premise.
Thanks, Linda!
It might be personal preference, but I would address agents by title and last name. I like the voice you show in this query. I get a feel for Ian and his personality. One suggestion for this line:
“SPIRIT HUNTER, a middle grade adventure novel, is complete at 55,000 words and seems a good fit with other works represented by you and your agency.”
Perhaps reference what works specifically? What books in the agency would compare to yours to make this novel a good fit?
Good luck!
Kimberly, this was my generic query. I DO usually address to Mr. or Ms., and will also use specific references to the agent after some research. Let’s just say there was a technical meltdown of biblical proportions at my house, so I sent what I had. 🙂 Thanks so much for reading and commenting!
Julie
Sounds like a great story, especially considering how popular manga is (I even watch some anime, some of it is pretty fantastic!). It’s a nice idea for crossover from manga to reading books about a kid sucked into a story. Cool idea. Best of luck!
Thanks so much! SO glad to hear you like the idea!
This sounds awesome! Just the type of book to get a MGer excited about reading:)
It’s all a part of my nefarious plan…mwahahaha! 🙂
Thanks SO much for doing this, and for your kind comments!
I’m liking the whole “Spirit-catching” premise! The story sounds a little epic with an ultimate battle. I’d read it 🙂
There are a couple of battles, yes. 🙂 I’m glad you like the premise – thanks for reading and responding!
Great writing. Nice premise. I like the manga aspect and the mission. The query is spot-on. I look forward to reading this.
Nicole, thank you so much for reading and commenting on all of our queries. I really appreciate the time it took for you to do it! And I’m very grateful for your generous remarks about my query.
Thank you again!
Nice job, Julie! 🙂
Thanks so much! 🙂
You’ve written an excellent query and the story sounds fun!