During the second week of June–that’s the 11-16th—Elana Johnson is hosting the Never Surrender blogfest to celebrate her new book release this month. All you have to do is blog about a time you didn’t surrender!
This post should be easy for me. It’s been the theme of my whole life. I’ve faced many challenges and it all started from the time when I was very young and was sexually abused. That’s just too depressing to blog about so as I searched my brain about the other things I could post . . . and realized the best moments of my life have come by not surrendering, but doing the opposite.
Yep, you heard me right.
Throughout my life there were people I thought were my friends. Family I thought I could trust. There were times I felt like surrendering, even attempted suicide twice between the ages of 11-14. But I couldn’t go through with it. I knew I owed it to myself to see what all the fight was about. I figured my best days would be ahead of me because it couldn’t get much worse. Even if I didn’t understand much about God then, I sensed he had a master plan for me. When I finally surrendered my life to him when I turned 18, I knew I was right.
God says he has collected my tears in a bottle. I wonder how many bottles they filled while I was growing up? But trouble=triumph. I’ve never seen someone be triumphant without being in trouble first. Romans 8:28 says we know, not hope, not wish, not pray . . . that all things work for the good of those who love him. All those atrocities I survived I use as a catalyst to pour into my writing.
So never surrendering to me means surrendering it all to God. If I didn’t get something (during the past 3 years, that usually meant an agent or editor), it’s only because God has something better for me down the road. Going through hell and high-water is worth it if it leads me to the place God has for me. One of the hardest things to do is to believe God in transition and that’s where I am now. Transitions are difficult because you’re letting go of everything you’ve held onto. It’s a great feeling of vulnerability. Worry happens. But when it happens, I make the choice to let go and let God. I surrender.
What about you?
*This is a blog hop so be sure to make like a bunny and jump over to Elana’s page:):):)